Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I know where I'm going...and it ain't where I've been

I can't believe it's mid-July already. I'm at a point where I know what I'm doing every weekend for the rest of the summer, which makes me a little sad. I feel like there's so much more fun I want/need to have.

So what have I been doing? Still working for the insurance broker 15 hours or so a week from home. Going to the races almost every weekend. Working in my garden (ok, they're mostly in containers this year). Learning about homesteading, eating locally, and self-sufficiency.

I've spent the past two afternoons baking zucchini bread. At least once a day, I kick myself for not learning more from my grandmother before she died. I wouldn't have had to try 3 different bread recipes from the internet. I'd know how to can & preserve things. I'd know how & when to plant vegetables. But I took her for granted, and never thought about what I'd do without her. So I'm learning it all on my own. And kicking myself for not buying her farm when it was sold 5 years ago.

It makes me sad whenever we drive by the farm. I avoid it whenever I can, but lately Dad's been taking that route on the way to the races when we go to South Jersey. I tell him that I don't like going that way because of the Narrows (narrow [duh] one lane road smooched between railroad tracks and mountain rocks) but I really just don't like driving by the farm. It is, and will always be, my favorite place in the world. And it breaks my heart that I'll never set foot on that property again.

My veggies are coming along, though I'm far behind most folks in my area since I got them in so late. But I've learned so much this summer that I'm not disappointed. I've picked out a plot of lawn that I'm going to 'till up for a larger garden next year. And I've got plenty of seeds leftover for next year since I bought way too many this season.

I'm still debating on whether or not I want to finish my thesis or continue teaching. I'm so far removed from the girl I used to be...and I'm happier. We'll see.

Now, I have to try to figure out how to make the brown sugar frosting Nanny used to put on her zucchini bread.